Don’t panic!

Posted: December 31, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

‘Don’t panic?’ Yeah right! The last couple of days have been a lot less productive than I had intended. Mainly due to this ‘over-breathing’ thing that I can get sometimes when I am stressed. Its like breathlessness but rather than that asthmatic kind of wheeze, its where I am actually taking way to many breaths per minute over a long period of time, without even noticing. The result?.. Headaches, dizzy and generally walking around wanting to scream ‘ I can’t breathe will somebody come help‘ Obviously I don’t and nobody can, but its really uncomfortable and keeps causing sporadic full-blown anxiety attacks. Leaving me irritable and moody.

This is the point where I question my decision not to take meds. I just want the feeling to go away. I try not to panic, but when you cant breathe thats really kinda hard! Anyway, in my attempt to be a little more positive in this coming year, that’s all the attention my oxygen deprived lungs are going to get in this post!

Moving on to something a lot more fun and hopefully distracting from the above. My friend Peanut and I ( No Peanut is not her given name) are downloading left 4 dead 2 with the intention of getting good at it before her husband Sid and my gaming buddy Zach get it so we can play together. It should be a good laugh, peanut has rather a weak stomach and little tolerance for gore, I only showed her trailers and game play scenes on you tube AFTER she had purchased and started the download. She thinks she will be playing it with her eyes shut and will curse me if she starts getting zombie themed nightmares. Its been downloading for about four hours and is now sat at 52% Hopefully that will be done by tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow will also be the last day that I will be smoking. Although I have said that every new year for the last uh.. five years. I have smoked since I was thirteen and I smoke a lot so its a pretty big challenge. Although I know I can manage the cravings I have managed that a few times, the problem for me is around day 4 when my insomnia kicks in and just doesn’t go away. Usually it stresses me out but not this time! No, this time I have a plan! When I cant sleep, rather than tossing and turning I am just gonna get out of bed and game. I figure when I am tired enough I will sleep. Everyone just has to put up with me being Miss emo until then. ( Nothing new there really)

So until next time. I am just going to try and breathe.

Cassidy x


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